Landsend.com customer support chat (updated)

[Gaux]

Name: Joey Parisi
Web Site: Default Web Site
URL: (http://www.goldshieldusa.com/)
Department: Sales
Question: general question about rates

Nick: Welcome to GoldShieldUSA, How may I assist you ?
Joey Parisi: general question about rates
Hows it goin Nicky
Nick: Hi Joey
Joey Parisi: I wanna get some health insurance
I have some questions
if I smoke , will that make my rate go up
Nicky you here?
Nick: Hi Joey, this is the order booking support chat and would appreciate if you could kindly mail your health insurance issues at support@goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: YOUR NOT HELPING ME AT NIKKI
NOT ON LITTLE BIT
WHERE CAN I SIGN YOU
YOU TAKE CASH?
MARON JESUS CHRIST
next question -- what about field of worst does it affect your rates?
Nick: we accept CC
You could kind the details at http://www.goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: I sort of have a intidement for organized crime - some bullshit like that
will that affect me getting health insurance?
blue cross was breaking my balls about it
saying they don't insurance
Nick: this is the order booking support chat and would appreciate if you could kindly mail your health insurance issues at support@goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: Nikki you think im blind or stupid? I saw your shit the first time - I want you to answer me
im not gonna waste my time searching the interwebz
Nick: this is the order booking support chat and would appreciate if you could kindly mail your health insurance issues at support@goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: marronn
tough guy huh
PERFECT DAY!!
RUINED!!!
lemme come down to the goldshield office Nikki, maybe they can assist me betta in person

[KIDRR]

^^^^

kekekeke

[TypeO]

Originally Posted by Dodigago

Name: Joey Parisi
Web Site: Default Web Site
URL: (http://www.goldshieldusa.com/)
Department: Sales
Question: general question about rates

Nick: Welcome to GoldShieldUSA, How may I assist you ?
Joey Parisi: general question about rates
Hows it goin Nicky
Nick: Hi Joey
Joey Parisi: I wanna get some health insurance
I have some questions
if I smoke , will that make my rate go up
Nicky you here?
Nick: Hi Joey, this is the order booking support chat and would appreciate if you could kindly mail your health insurance issues at support@goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: YOUR NOT HELPING ME AT NIKKI
NOT ON LITTLE BIT
WHERE CAN I SIGN YOU
YOU TAKE CASH?
MARON JESUS CHRIST
next question -- what about field of worst does it affect your rates?
Nick: we accept CC
You could kind the details at http://www.goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: I sort of have a intidement for organized crime - some bullshit like that
will that affect me getting health insurance?
blue cross was breaking my balls about it
saying they don't insurance
Nick: this is the order booking support chat and would appreciate if you could kindly mail your health insurance issues at support@goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: Nikki you think im blind or stupid? I saw your shit the first time - I want you to answer me
im not gonna waste my time searching the interwebz
Nick: this is the order booking support chat and would appreciate if you could kindly mail your health insurance issues at support@goldshieldusa.com
Joey Parisi: marronn
tough guy huh
PERFECT DAY!!
RUINED!!!
lemme come down to the goldshield office Nikki, maybe they can assist me betta in person

I can hear the accent while reading it

[TypeO]

Originally Posted by TypeO

Welcome to Monster,Phil McCracken.
Your request has been queued.You are first in the queue.
Your request has been delivered to an agent.
You are connected to an agent. Sent:Hello, anybody home?
Received:Hello Phil !
Received:Thank you for contacting Monster, my name is Sailas, how may I help you?
Sent:Whassup Sailas, I'm looking for a job
Received:Yes, I am here.
Received:I am fime how about you.
Sent:Well I can see that Sailas - I'm looking for a graphic artist position
Received:Okay.
Sent:Cause, you know, I gotz teh mad MSPaint skillz
Received:PhiI, will help you with Job search.
Received:Okay.
Sent:Now we're cookin' sailas - let's grease this pig and see if she squeals, am I right?
Received:Phil, may I know if have an account with monster?
Received:May I know if you prefer any location, Phil?
Sent:nope no account I'm aware of
Received:Okay.
Sent:But I'm sure you can handle that, am I right?
Received:Yes, I can.
Received:I will help you, Phil.
Sent:Now I'm looking for a high-paying job, Sailas, I'm not a real "work my way up" kinda guy, you feel me?
Received:May I know if you prefer any location, Phil?
Sent:US of A, Sailas - US of A.
Received:Okay.
Received:Okay.
Sent:Dirty south, baby
Received:Okay.
Received:Please give me a moment to do a search.
Sent:Take yer time Sailas, I'm cuttin' out another line as we speak
Received:Thank you.
Sent:No, thank YOU Sailas.
Received:You are welcome.
Received:Phil, please click on this link... http://jobsearch.monster.com/Search....G=1&pg=1&lv=12
Sent:I really appreciate your graciousness Sailas, I think that's what's missing in the world today, am I right?
Received:These are a few jobs I found for you on monster.
Sent:Whoa, what's this, your Myspace page? Do I need a password?
Sent:Are we talkin' noods here Sailas?
Received:Phil, to look at it you need none.
Sent:Y'know, I haven't even asked if yer a man or not, are you a pretty little lady?
Received:but to apply...
Received:You need to have an account.
Sent:Cause I'm weak for the red dots, are you feelin' me?
Received:I must say that I am Male by sex.
Received:Yes, I can Phil.
Sent:So can I get the hookup from ya on this account thing?
Received:Not hooked up ...
Received:I will help you create one...
Sent:Slow down Sailas, let's just take it nice and easy -
Sent:Received:It will hardly take 5 minutes.
Received:http://jobsearch.monster.com/Search....G=1&pg=1&lv=13
Received:Sure.
Sent:Wow, you're a real sweetie - hang on while I cut a fresh line...
Received:Phil, the link I just gave are Managerial position.
Sent:OK I'm good. So what are you wearing Sailas?
Received:Trousers and a plain shirt.
Sent:nice, nice
Received:Thank you.
Received:Phil, do you want me help you start an account on Monster?
Sent:I gotta tell ya, I'm harder than chinese arithmetic right now, are we, you know, private?

For some reason, the box closed after this... lolo

fuck yeah!

[thread grader]

Originally Posted by thread grader

Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...
You have been connected to Lloyd W.
Lloyd W: Hello Jason, welcome to RitzCamera.com. I will be glad to assist you.
Jason Voorhees: ...
Lloyd W: How may I assist you?
Jason Voorhees: ...
Jason Voorhees: <raises axe>
Lloyd W: How may I assist you?
Jason Voorhees: <brings axe down upon Lloyd> *theme music starts*
Jason Voorhees: ch ch ch
Jason Voorhees: haa haa haa
Your session has ended. You may now close this window.

too tired to do a new one, here's an old one!

[Skelz]

bumping a classic.






we need to do more

[TypeO]

Originally Posted by Skelz

bumping a classic.






we need to do more

veg's greatest accomplishment

[Skelz]

Originally Posted by TypeO

veg's greatest accomplishment

his only accomplishment.

[ndg]

[ndg]

[ndg]

Welcome to Lexar Media's Live Chat. A Live Chat agent will join you in a moment... Please do not begin typing until you have been connected to an agent.
Hello, my name is Ravichandran . How may I help you?
walter sobchak: hey ravi. im looking for a camera.
walter sobchak: hello?
Ravichandran : Yes, Walter.
Ravichandran : Do you need a memory card for your camera?
walter sobchak: well you see, i need a camera for my bowling league so I can capture shots. but i roll fast, so i need a fast camera. and i dont know the first thing about cameras
walter sobchak: ravi?
Ravichandran : We would like to inform you that, at present we don't have any details about the camera.
walter sobchak: what do you mean? this is a support chat for kodak, and you cant help me out?
Ravichandran : You need to contact any camera manufacture.
Ravichandran : No, Walter it is support for the Memory card and JumpDrive.
walter sobchak: Id go to the local camera store, but tomorrow is saturday. Saturday, ravi, is Shabbos, the ***ish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't buy cameras! Shomer shabbos!
walter sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Ravi. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...i cant go find a camera.
Ravichandran : To contact the Kodak camera support 1800-235- 6325.
walter sobchak: i dont have a phone. or a rug. the chinaman stole it
walter sobchak: or maude has it. Im not too sure right now.
walter sobchak: ravi?
Ravichandran : To know more about the camera's you can contact the Kodak camera support. This is Lexar support, walter.
walter sobchak: Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
walter sobchak: c'mon ravi, you're being veryundude right now.
walter sobchak: whats your opinion on nihilists? I figure its cool and all seeing as its an ethos.
Ravichandran : We don't have any detailed information about the Kodak camera.
walter sobchak: well I have to go take care of cynthias pomerian. taking it bowling. but im not buying it a beer or renting it shoes.
Ravichandran : Sorry for the inconvenience, Walter.
walter sobchak: no problemo man. fuk it lets go get a lane ravi

[TypeO]

let a veteran show ya how it's done...

Requesting Conversation..
Sent: construction labor
Welcome Phil McCracken! We look forward to being of assistance. Please be aware that the conversation will close if it is idle for 20 minutes.
You are first in the queue.
The conversation request is being delivered to an agent. Please wait a second.
The conversation request has been accepted by an agent. Please start the conversation.
Sent: Hello
Sent: ?
Sent: anybody there?
Received: Thank you for contacting Monster. My name is Timiko. How can I assist you?
Sent: Hi Timiko, I'm looking for qualified cheap concrete workers
Received: I can help you with that.
Received: Does your company have a Monster account at this time?
Sent: I know you can, sweetie
Sent: no, no account - whats involved?
Sent: you there Timiko?
Received: If you go to the Monster site you will be able to see what we have available.
Received: We have a 14 day posting for $150 .
Received: It is now on special for $99.
Sent: Thought I lost you there Timi - it's OK if I call you Timi?
Received: That is fine.
Sent: $150? But you don't even know how many I need yet.
Received: Of course I don't .
Received: We have a 30 day posting that starts at $375.
Received: A 60 day posting that starts at $395.
Received: The more you buy the cheaper it gets.
Sent: So 14 days for $150 - how many do I get?
Sent: I'd need at least 10 for this project
Received: You would have to buy those separately.
Sent: Oh, so it's $150 each for 14 days?
Received: Yes sir, it is.
Sent: I need at least 2 finishers - are they more?
Received: Mr. Phil may I have your email address for our log purposes please.
Sent: ******@yahoo.com
Sent: is it more for finishers?
Received: Thank you.
Received: You would have to create your own postings.
Sent: So what are they, Laotians or something? Hell, even Mexicans won't work that cheap.
Received: Which means that you would have to write our your job descriptions.
Sent: This is obviously under the table, am i right?
Sent: What about you, Timi? They paying you good there? I could use a good "assistant", you feel me?
Received: I am well here.
Sent: I'm kinda jumping the gun, though, I don't even know if you're a boy or girl! Which is it Timi?
Received: Female and it is not under the table.
Received: Everything is legit.
Sent: OK, now we're talking Timi.
Sent: So what are you wearing?
Sent: cause I'd definitely do you better than the $10 a day y'all charge for mexicans
Received: Clothing, this is a place of business.
Sent: Oooooh, KINKY! You bad girl you.
Received: Well I apologize but if this isn't business I will have to end this chat.
Sent: So, are we, you know... private? Because I'm harder than chinese arithmetic right about now Timi, and it's about time to let this horse out the barn, you feel me?
Sent: Oh, definitely, strictly business - you need a credit card number?
Received: No sir.
Sent: Or maybe you have a personal site? Password please?
Received: You can got to the Monster site and make your purchases.
Sent: I'm pretty open-minded, long as we're not into scat and whatnot
Sent: You're not some ind of "tubg1rl Timi" are ya?
Received: Mr. Phil, Good nite.
The conversation session has been closed. Thank you.


I call that one Monster

[TypeO]

Originally Posted by ndg

Welcome to Lexar Media's Live Chat. A Live Chat agent will join you in a moment... Please do not begin typing until you have been connected to an agent.
Hello, my name is Ravichandran . How may I help you?
walter sobchak: hey ravi. im looking for a camera.
walter sobchak: hello?
Ravichandran : Yes, Walter.
Ravichandran : Do you need a memory card for your camera?
walter sobchak: well you see, i need a camera for my bowling league so I can capture shots. but i roll fast, so i need a fast camera. and i dont know the first thing about cameras
walter sobchak: ravi?
Ravichandran : We would like to inform you that, at present we don't have any details about the camera.
walter sobchak: what do you mean? this is a support chat for kodak, and you cant help me out?
Ravichandran : You need to contact any camera manufacture.
Ravichandran : No, Walter it is support for the Memory card and JumpDrive.
walter sobchak: Id go to the local camera store, but tomorrow is saturday. Saturday, ravi, is Shabbos, the ***ish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't buy cameras! Shomer shabbos!
walter sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Ravi. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...i cant go find a camera.
Ravichandran : To contact the Kodak camera support 1800-235- 6325.
walter sobchak: i dont have a phone. or a rug. the chinaman stole it
walter sobchak: or maude has it. Im not too sure right now.
walter sobchak: ravi?
Ravichandran : To know more about the camera's you can contact the Kodak camera support. This is Lexar support, walter.
walter sobchak: Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
walter sobchak: c'mon ravi, you're being veryundude right now.
walter sobchak: whats your opinion on nihilists? I figure its cool and all seeing as its an ethos.
Ravichandran : We don't have any detailed information about the Kodak camera.
walter sobchak: well I have to go take care of cynthias pomerian. taking it bowling. but im not buying it a beer or renting it shoes.
Ravichandran : Sorry for the inconvenience, Walter.
walter sobchak: no problemo man. fuk it lets go get a lane ravi

Ravi lulz
posted while i was doing mine

[ndg]

thats gold jerry....gold.
damnit You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to TypeO again.

edit-we need a bania smilie.