Freestyle Battle Thread

[DanThaMan]

Originally Posted by thread grader

you hardly post, yo reps is fake
ill turn your face into taco steak
I'll steal your cake while your wide awake
u better go home for your girlfriend's sake
ill rape her, fuck her, pee on her too
light her on fire and shit in her shoes
now dantheman is singin the blues
he should just kill himself, tg will not lose

t-g aint no reeeaaall g, he aint a playa he a wannabe, like bpp dont kno who-i-be, i be G.I. G not G.I. Joe cuz i mix my flow up like camo, oh, u dont kno, u oblivious, ridin dirty got that feds all curious, got everyone actin like a disbeliever, forget this rhyme and pass the reefer

[bpp]

fuckin mad raps good shit

but i got something better
shit that will blow u away
like nwa
but im better then them
cuz im white and not from the hood
i can make toast though
and crack wood
wit ma penis
aint nobody better
smoking crack wit an umbrella
while fuckin yallz gf's vags with an antenna
fuckin mad rhyming skillz
i dont know to spell
but i can make da dolla bills and raise fuckin hell

[Skelz]

Originally Posted by bpp

look at u comin again
with that weak shit
tryin to flame me man
u gotta come harder
like i did on somebodys mother
fuckin gotta boner the size of chynas cl1t
fuckin slap my meat
all ova yo face
u think im crazed and deranged
fucked up and damaged beyond repair
but ma rap style so scary
make yo hair stand up
next time i rap
u better stand back

actually, I can hear ICP on that verse.

[Skelz]

Originally Posted by bpp

fuckin mad raps good shit

but i got something better
shit that will blow u away
like nwa
but im better then them
cuz im white and not from the hood
i can make toast though
and crack wood
wit ma penis
aint nobody better
smoking crack wit an umbrella
while fuckin yallz gf's vags with an antenna
fuckin mad rhyming skillz
i dont know to spell
but i can make da dolla bills and raise fuckin hell

actually, I can hear Kid Rock on that verse

[DanThaMan]

Originally Posted by bpp

fuckin mad raps good shit

but i got something better
shit that will blow u away
like nwa
but im better then them
cuz im white and not from the hood
i can make toast though
and crack wood
wit ma penis
aint nobody better
smoking crack wit an umbrella
while fuckin yallz gf's vags with an antenna
fuckin mad rhyming skillz
i dont know to spell
but i can make da dolla bills and raise fuckin hell

i got so much bread u can call me the baker,
when it comes to necks u can call me the breaker,
got 100 acre with a house similiar to a skyscraper,
im like a weatherman cuz im a rain maker,
throwin 20's everywhere cuz i dont care,
i aint scared, my visions impaired,
this rap battles a one man game like solitaire,
cuz no one can step up to me im like a flight of stairs, with no elevator,
ur raps is so bad u need a translator, think u good at flowin yet im greater

[KrushR]

U battlin' me, thinkin you're the rap maker?
I'm the technology pimp, you're just the oatmeal Quaker.
My rhymes flowin all thick, your shit's lumpy and dry
Get your goggles or I'll poke a sharp stick in ya eye

Chit chattin' on Google, searching deals on Ebay
Buyin' kis, cuttin' shit, sell an ounce to ShaNayNay
Multi-tasking on my cell, plannin drop-off times,
Never caught for no shit, innocent of all crimes

Typin up on my lappy, just made thirty-two Gs,
Tech support so cold, your e-machines will freeze
Gettin' paid for my knowledge
Gettin reps for my shiz
Streaming movies to my Xbox cause that shit's my biz.

[DanThaMan]

Originally Posted by KrushR

U battlin' me, thinkin you're the rap maker?
I'm the technology pimp, you're just the oatmeal Quaker.
My rhymes flowin all thick, your shit's lumpy and dry
Get your goggles or I'll poke a sharp stick in ya eye

Chit chattin' on Google, searching deals on Ebay
Buyin' kis, cuttin' shit, sell an ounce to ShaNayNay
Multi-tasking on my cell, plannin drop-off times,
Never caught for no shit, innocent of all crimes

Typin up on my lappy, just made thirty-two Gs,
Tech support so cold, your e-machines will freeze
Gettin' paid for my knowledge
Gettin reps for my shiz
Streaming movies to my Xbox cause that shit's my biz.

battlin me is like fightin disease, dont sneeze; cuz my flows sick like a dog with flies, with a temp of 100 degrees while u rappin about e-machines u sound like a cooter, i got tech support and i aint talkin computers, scare errybody home like telicommuters, ur rhymes played out like razor scooters

[thread grader]

dantheklan's man shows up and leaves again
ill rip out his eyes so he'll never see again
ahhhhhhhhh fuck it
I hope that motherfucker never breathes again
his mom calles he has to be asleep by ten
aww
"hush little danny, dont say a thing, im showing your mom my dingaling, and if that bitch dont get on her knees, im gonna take this mausberg and blow her mother fuckin head off"

dantheman as hard as danny tanner
now you gone and fucked with bruce banner
im hulkin on you and your pitiful rhymes
you should just keep your mouth zipped lime these motherfuckin

[DanThaMan]

Originally Posted by thread grader

dantheklan's man shows up and leaves again
ill rip out his eyes so he'll never see again
ahhhhhhhhh fuck it
I hope that motherfucker never breathes again
his mom calles he has to be asleep by ten
aww
"hush little danny, dont say a thing, im showing your mom my dingaling, and if that bitch dont get on her knees, im gonna take this mausberg and blow her mother fuckin head off"

dantheman as hard as danny tanner
now you gone and fucked with bruce banner
im hulkin on you and your pitiful rhymes
you should just keep your mouth zipped lime these motherfuckin

wheres ya mom at i need da bop, ur like a lil virgin pussy waitin to get popped, or shot, ill smoke u like pot n pull out the parkin lot leavin u to rot, and be 'asleep by ten', another verse i win, i feel like im battlin Boyz 2 Men, more like boyz 2 bitches, from rags to riches, finger on the trigger stays with the twitches, leave more holes in ya then a sponge just another charge ima have to get expunged, im goin to the beach outta town till june 16, prepare u like cuisine n sink ya body in the ocean like a submarine, ill be a mime then cuz i aint talkin, u cant escape quit runnin start walkin.........

[bpp]

both of you sound like amateurs
throwin insults at eachother
now im not tryin to sound smart
but i fuck both your mothers
they felt kinda good
smelled like shit through and through
but i said fuck it
and let them lick my balls too
i hope u scared now cuz i got my balls in my hand
and if either of u jump at me
ill throw my nuts at ur face
u disgusted by now
suckin my dick for a donkey kong game
but thats wut u fuckers need to hear
cuz we both know u two is just qu33rs

[Skelz]

Originally Posted by bpp

both of you sound like amateurs
throwin insults at eachother
now im not tryin to sound smart
but i fuck both your mothers
they felt kinda good
smelled like shit through and through
but i said fuck it
and let them lick my balls too
i hope u scared now cuz i got my balls in my hand
and if either of u jump at me
ill throw my nuts at ur face
u disgusted by now
suckin my dick for a donkey kong game
but thats wut u fuckers need to hear
cuz we both know u two is just qu33rs

This shit doesn't even rhyme.

[KrushR]

Originally Posted by DanThaMan

while u rappin about e-machines u sound like a cooter,

that shit had me roffling.

[AlexWells]

well this definitely appears to be a conversation the whole family can relate to.

[KrushR]

danthaman killin',
his rhymes be spillin
fat skrilla and his muthafukin pockets be fillin'

he'll ride your shit like a pony
yeah you got one trick
you're the fat kickball kid
no one wants to pick

beat your ass like a juvie
spittin' blood and dirt
dan'll rip that collar
off ya muthafuckin' shirt.

tear your ass a new hole
like a parkin garage
drive his Hummer right through it
fuckin' up your old Dodge.